Some movies are made to go straight to DVD, Dracula 3000 was made to bypass theaters, DVD and just straight to mocking cable. The premise itself is intriguing enough: a derelict ship (the Demeter) is adrift in the Carpathian Solar System and discovered by the salvage ship Mother. the Mother is captained by Van Helsing (Caspar Van Dien) with a crew that includes Vice Captain Aura (Erika Eleniak), Navigator Intern Mina Murray (Alexandra Kamp), Information Specialist Arthur Holmwood (Grant Swanby), Cargo Specialist 187, (Coolio), and Cargo Specialist HMV (Tiny Lister).
Aboard the Demeter, the Crew discovers boxes of sand in the cargo bay, wooden crosses and a long dead body. Whoshing about is a spectral figure, later revealed to be Count Orlock, in search of blood. For those of you familiar with the novel and some film adaptations, you know what happened to the original crew of the Demeter.
It was a vain attempt to have 187 become a quasi-Renfield and the reworking of a few original characters was another half hearted attempt to ground the film, but by the time Orlock is seen in costume....all bets are off. His cape and collar resemble something that was rejected in the story boarding of the Drak Pak or the Monster Squad.
Unless you are in a mood to throw popcorn at the small screen, leave Dracula 3000 out of your Netflix Que.
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